Dude! Where are you?


By Email I was asked: “Dude! Where are you?”

The answer is simple – I am here:

20120129 run

While at it, I am doing this:

20120129 shoe running

It is dark outside and… cold. Then again no muscle itching, just running.

Life is grand.

Yours truly

fatsmoker2ironman

On the run… errr bike… err no! swim!


Am posting in a hurry. Today was biking. Well biking it should be – then again it was raining. I waited for it to stop. It stopped. Only to restart more heavy than before. Going out with my bike would have been like going to swim. So I decided to make it swimming.

Swimming was cool, I feel good and now off into the city – on a meeting.

 

Sometimes – sometimes life is grand.

 

Yours

Martin

TriAddict – there we go


The week I finished on Sunday with a prolonged bike ride through Frankfurt. Motivation and fitness seemingly improves.

Yet I still feel my muscles in my upper thigh(s). I truly hope this is gone by next month, when training for running starts again.

Bottom line: I am doing my training completely again (or in Scott’s words: it’s all green 😉 ). Smoking – well that’s the remaining issue, but I am confident to beat my daemons once more. Today is swimming – we shall see.

Yours

Martin

I want to ride my bicycle…


Well just did it, so next one tomorrow 😉

Starting for next season


Good news first: The past few weeks I slowly got back on track. Work-wise there is always something to do. Yet we will do.

Slowly I got back to swimming and biking. I still can’t go running. While I write I prepare for today’s bike tour. At least 2 hours it shall be, maybe 4 hours. I will have to fight my worst enemy: staying calm, doing base endurance and not push. Let us see if I can…

Off in a hurry…

Yours

Martin

fatsmoker – about life and anything else


Time is flying right now. It is passing by.

I am afraid I am slowly gaining weight – yet I am not really sure since I dare not visit my scale… To make it worse, I maybe smoke by times too.

Overall I am unsure. Then again maybe it is the huge amount of rest I have from sports. Too much free time, too much energy. Too much work.

Private and business life works pretty well right now. Triathlon does not. Were it not for the smoking I would call it the perfect rest.

What do I do sportwise?

  • It seems I cancel the Ironman distance for next year. Just because it is too early for my body. Especially the doctor’s advice of health issues in 2012 made me decide that way. A long talk with Coach Ralf confirmed that it is a wise decision.
  • Instead I go for several olympic distance races and other races. Plan is four olympic distances, bike part in relay at Challenge Roth and a Marathon in autumn 2012.
  • For now I do base endurance on bike and swimming technique. Yet I slacked with training amount. That totals for about 10-15 hours training a week.
  • Also I restarted on my diet. Actually I am sure gaining weight stopped today and just turns 180° to weight loss.
  • Smoking IS an issue I gotta change today. Then again I told myself the same yesterday and the day before yesterday and…

Bottom line: I slacked a lot and I am threatened to fall back into old behaviour patterns. Tomorrow is a base endurance unit of 2-4 hours (depends on myself when on the track – if I do 4 hours) and swimming.

I am unable to predict my next few weeks. I hope I do get back fully on track. Then again that relaxed attitude might be needed right now.

Yours

Martin

TriAddict: Mr Doctor says, we will…


… whatever…

Several people recommended that doctor to me, so I went there for my appointment. I expected a doctor and Triathlete. I got the most straightforward and blunt advises possible.

So I took my time to swallow on those.

Anyway – one after the other:

  1. During interview the doctor already expected some kind of burnout.
  2. During diagnosis he found:
    – my upper thigh muscle being inflamed
    – tissue already stiff
    – lack of stretching of my legs overall
    – joints and movement being perfectly fine
  3. Then came the really blunt part about training, over-training, burn-out,… That part lasted about 45 minutes (the other part only like 15 minutes).

Truth be told: I am aware he is right. Also this kind of… blunt speech proves to me that it was all about health – my health. Well – he came through.

What is happening now?

  1. I will take my recovery time.
  2. I have to take a slightly different approach.
  3. I need to find a way to not push my body too extreme. I still believe that this aspect of pushing is something good overall, but I need to learn where I have to stop in favor of my own health.

There might be some more changes in future, but all in due time. For now: recovery… and enjoying that I don’t feel pain, while sitting still.

Yours

fatsmoker2ironman

TriAddict – good people are, where you least expect them.


There it is – motivation never left me, but…

Ok one by one:

  1. I saw a doctor for my pain. Result does not sound good. I have to see another doctor. Basically my upper thigh muscle is far beyond its capabilities. We now have to check if there are any consequences to my hip and other leg due to that. And what it means for sports coupled with my still existing weight. Apart from that we have to find out the exact status of that muscle. *ouch*
  2. I am taking medication for my thyroid for some time. This ain’t good for my sports goal and there is a possibility I do not need it anymore! I will learn about that one soon.
  3. Due to 1. and 2. I have to cancel my performance test. I would have loved that one but it does not make any sense.
  4. Had some Email exchange with a very special Lady, who is into high-end Triathlon. The news from the doctor made me feel down, yet she told me: “Hey sounds to me like too much too soon. I nearly don’t know any sports person, who did not experience it.” That one cheered me up a lot.  Might be that all remarks about “burnout” are true. I did not expect that kind of help and support from her. Thank you SB! I gotta check with Coach Ralf once I can call him.
  5. Got my running shoes like I told :).
  6. Going to care a little bit about my ego the next few weeks.
  7. Please press your thumbs that this sports doctor I gonna see does not cancel my sports due to health reasons…

Yarrr ok here my new set of running shoes. I will be checking my old 3 pairs to see, which set still works and dispose of the others.

New running shoe sets

New running shoe sets

So we shall see.

 

Yours

fatsmoker2ironman

TriAddict – Ego my best friend and my worst enemy.


I am stunned.

Semi-frustrated I posted my issues in motivation 3 hours ago. Yet I went up, got my stuff and started again to finish what I started: running for today. Simply since I am not willing to give up that easily.

  1. I had my iPhone with me with spinning music (a trick – I admit).
  2. I warmed up.
  3. I started running.
  4. I powered on (in quite a decent speed I believe).
  5. I stopped once more after 2 km this time. I could not go on.

So I turned around and had my walk home… I switched from flight mode to normal mode on my iPhone and… my iPhone went crazy… Message by Vivian, Scott and Adena (I had already read Christi’s message). All that while walking home, frustrated I had to stop once more. Pitch black night… reading comments on my blog…

Thanks to you all and some more advice. By now I know what I will do:

  • First thing is first: I will see a sports doctor for the searing pain in my thigh(s). Every time I am running I now have a hard muscle in my thigh and an insane pain due to it afterwards.  The simple remark by someone: “I would hate running if I felt the pain rising, while knowing it will be unbearable once home.” Good call – we gotta get rid of that.
  • “Sane training” – I overdid the training. I did not mean to, yet I did the past few weeks. I am going for a true sports performance analysis soon
  • “Cold” – I am quite sure I am ill. No symptoms  but overall feeling weak. I am quite sure my body fights a cold by now.
  • “Slacking” – I slacked with my diet. Due to that I feel overall… bad. So I know I did not perform to the best of my possibilities and therefore afraid to put it to a test.
  • “Burnout” – I am unsure in that department. Either because I am unwilling to admit or because it simply does not apply. Yet I am unable to figure it out alone. Gotta get me some support on that one.
  • “Running shoes” – I have 3 pairs of shoes now, but now I do realize I need new ones. Maybe I waited too long. Bought 2 new pairs already – due to arrive tomorrow.
  • “Ego” – wanting it too much. Admitting that one does hurt.

Looking into each issues, I always find my ego somewhere down there:

  • Running despite the pain in my thigh. Most sane people would have seen a doctor 4 months ago. I have this pain for 5 months already. Why didn’t I see a doctor? I considered it part of the deal having that pain. Running into pain is a lot about ego.
  • Sane training – I pushed myself to the limit each time in one regard or the other. Just because I want to get forward. That’s ego.
  • Slacking – no secret I enjoyed aspects of my past lifestyle. Slacking meant to my ego: you can because you are good (no not really but you get the idea).
  • Burnout – physically apparently not since my pulse and anything else is reacting normal again. Mentally this might be true, but I still consider it unlikely this season. I just fail to enjoy the results. My results in running, swimming,… the hype from a month ago is gone and I do blame the pain in my thigh(s) for the most part. Basically I call myself being unable to live to my own expectations. Damn that’s ego too. (Funnily I could maybe achieve my goals and get even further if only I calmed down. But this is not my personality and I would probably lack in another department).
  • I did not buy new running shoes. Simply because I am so bad in running. As a matter of fact to my ego it goes like this: I did not run enough (hence my being bad in running). So I do not need new running shoes…  Seriously that is ego.. *ouch*

So after all one could say: drop ego and do your stuff. Actually some people who know me, tell me to do exactly that. Unfortunately ego is what  made me start it all. Ego is what keeps me going. And my fascination of my own progress, of living my dream, the changes to my body,… is what makes me wonder, which makes me want to go on and take a peek around the next corner – curious about the changes to come. Ego asks me one question each day: How far can you get?

And my answer always is the same: Very far.

All  I have to do is to define the word: very. To define that word for myself.

As a result of today I will follow my plan on my next steps as outlined above, also I just sent my Email to order that sports performance analysis (I am afraid what that test might tell).

 

So the journey goes on. For now.

 

Yours

fatsmoker2ironman

Anyone found my motivation over there?


I didn’t.

Today was one of my worst experiences. The past two days I did my training again.

  1. Today I went out.
  2. I warmed up.
  3. I started running.
  4. I stopped after like 100 m
  5. I returned to start.
  6. I started again.
  7. I stopped after like 80 m.
  8. I felt embarrassed.
  9. I went home for lunch.
  10. I could barely move, took a rest.
  11. Now I am reading comments and sitting here.

This was ugly to my mind. Today is tempo runs – that BPET and swimming. I have no idea what is holding me back. Maybe I am just about to become ill? Or… even worse (my personally best guess) – afraid to compete with myself. Simply since tempo runs are about competition, a statement you improved over the past week.

No clue, today I plain feel like a blob in some dark corner in regards to sports. The past week was difficult, the past few days sometimes a pain and it is increasingly difficult to go for running.

Why? Where is my motivation?

 

Yours

fatsmoker

%d bloggers like this: